video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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