I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
