i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
