i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
