week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
