I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
