I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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