He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
