My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had sex on a roof
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
