At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
