Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
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I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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