just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize