so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
