so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
