Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
