why didn't you poke me back
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
