So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is classic penis vs brain.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize