i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she smelled like a LAN party
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
