I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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