I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
