so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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