You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
