It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
