I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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