I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
