No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
