I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
