Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize