im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish you could order shots online.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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