just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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