I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
