It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Life is so much better after having sex.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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