Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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