help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
