so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
