At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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