I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
