the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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