Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
