I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
