If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so let's talk penis.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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