I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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