I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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