the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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