thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
