I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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