Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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