your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
