That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize