Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
