2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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