the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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