I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize