so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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