Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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