He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Vodka?
Forever.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
