Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
