when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
pop tarts are not kleenex
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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