Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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