I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
