ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize